Where do you go with your broken? I've been thinking about this a lot these past few days. I guess you could say I've been surrounded by a lot of broken. I truly believe that where we go with our broken determines the duration of our brokenness and the extent of our healing.
Some of us hold on tightly to it and keep it locked inside. We retreat from our loved ones and tell ourselves it's because we're going to deal with it on our own...but we don't. Others of us drown out the hurt or the anger with alcohol, drugs, food or any other number of vices. They become our escape, our way of not feeling and our way of not hearing. Still, others of us rage. We beat everyone who wants to help us with our words...slowly but surely pushing them away. The sad thing is that we often mistake all of this as being a normal part of our process. Some may even think it is healthy because after all, isn't there more than one way to deal with our stuff? The reality is that all we are doing is more damage that will require more healing, and prolong the duration of our brokenness. Why?
For those of us who know Christ especially...why? This is the question I've been thinking about the most this week. He is our healer. He is the only one who can truly make us whole. So why is it that so many times we choose to stay in our brokenness...or worse add to it rather than go directly to Him? I suspect it's because we know deep down that it can be painful to bring Him our brokenness. We know that to bring Him our brokenness requires honesty and surrender so that He can tend to our wounds. Honesty and surrender often mean that we have to take responsibility for certain things or maybe even confess other things. Who really wants to do that when they are broken ? Isn't that even more painful? I've noticed something. Just as it is far less painful to allow a doctor to tend a wound initially than to wait until it's infected, it is far less painful to allow God to tend to you from the start than it is to continue on in brokenness and as a last resort come to Him later.
Emotional, mental, and spiritual wounds can run just as deep and be just as damaging as physical wounds. Let's say you had a wound on your leg that was so deep that it required immediate medical attention, but you decide to handle it on your own. Perhaps you rinse it out with some water and wrap it with sterile gauze. It seems to work initially. The bleeding has stopped and you can sort of hobble around. A day or two passes and suddenly your leg is throbbing. The pain is excruciating and the area around the wound is swollen and red. Suddenly, you find yourself running a fever and vomiting. A friend has to drive you to the hospital, and the doctor tells you that your wound is infected. He doesn't understand why you didn't come in and get it taken care of right from the start. Because you waited, you'll need to receive antibiotics through an IV and have surgery. They'll need to cut down to the bone to drain the infection. Hopefully this will work because if it doesn't, you may very well lose your leg! This is what it looks like when we don't go directly to God from the very beginning with our broken. During the delay we compound the problem until we've heaped upon ourselves more and more suffering...all because we think we can take care of it ourselves or we don't want to face the sting of the initial wound cleansing. By the time we end up coming to Him we are no longer merely broken in pieces. We are shattered like glass. All that's left is a mess of fine particles with jagged edges! Just like a deep wound needs more than a rinse and some gauze our emotional, mental, and spiritual wounds need more care than we can give them ourselves. We can save ourselves a lot of added brokenness and a lot of unnecessary suffering if we would just run directly to God with our broken.
This past week I've spent time with some broken people. Some are broken and trying to fix it on their own because they don't want to surrender their lives to Christ. Others are busy beating people up with their words because deep down they are really angry at God. It's futile to avoid going to the only One who can heal us because we are angry with Him. He is a big God with broad shoulders. Nothing we could ever shout at Him in our anger and hurt would surprise Him, lessen His love for us, or keep Him from making us whole...take it from someone who's been there! At the end of the week, we lost a family member who died in his brokenness. He didn't seem to think that God could really forgive someone like him. He chose to drown out God's voice by living in bondage instead of taking a chance on the freedom of God's love.
Don't let this be you. Go to God with your broken. Ann Voskamp once wrote, "We have a God who sees hearts like we see faces, a God who hears ache like we hear voices, and we have a God who touches and holds and heals our wounds like we long to be held." Run to Him. He's waiting!